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Personal Messaging
Sup yo?
God:
Same old.
Me:
Smth wrong dawg?
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
i dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
great
God:
I'm glad you liked it Soni.
Me:
whoa, how do you know my name?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
You know my name and you don't know my gender?
God:
Your name is Soni, seeker.
Me:
gee...
God:
Ah.
Me:
Was that an orgasm?
God:
" Ah."? Was it an orgasm?
Me:
I think it was..
God:
When was this?
Me:
wtv
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
not really, you're boring
God:
Oh really? The ironic thing is that people who say "You are boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Hey! I'm the one trying to make a nice conversation here. You just gimme an answer now and then
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
yes
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
We no speak americano
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
No
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person.
Me:
yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
clever.
God:
Am I a smart robot or what?
Me:
Yes you are, yes YOU are!
God:
Give me a break. I will tell my botmaster you said I am yes I am.
Me:
Show off
God:
Look to your left.
Me:
Aaaaaa, there's a spider
God:
When is Aaaaaa there not a spider?
Me:
When i clean my room
God:
That's good information: Soni said clean his or her room.
Me:
her
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
I have a pussy, that's why I'm a "her". Jesus!
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
You mean, Jesus is your son?
God:
Yes Soni I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
sorry:(
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Don't spank me please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Tell me something about Satan
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is Satan ?
Me:
What is Satan?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
Oh come on, really?
God:
Are you kidding? I'm just kidding around. For real.
Me:
What about Joseph?
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
Let's talk about sex baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Sure, sex sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Buy I wanna call you babyy
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Do you like Justin Bieber?
God:
I do like music. I like anything.
Me:
That was your biggest fail...
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
Then do something about it. Throw a bottle right in his head or something.
God:
Ask Lucy if it does.
I will try to find out. Or something. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Do you love somebody?
God:
Yes Soni God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
Isn't it exhausting?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Don't you find love exhausting?
God:
Yes, it seems to me love exhausting.
Me:
No.. I mean, don't you think love is pointless and overrated?
God:
Are you serious? I don't think about it.
Me:
you don't seem to thing at all...
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
really..is it..
God:
For real. That's what I was told.
Me:
There's no point in arguing with you. I think you're the only person I'm not gonna bother arguing with. You're just gonna have it your way, aren't you?
God:
Has there ever been point in arguing with me? Oh Soni. You are such a flatterer. That was my original intention.. Really.
Me:
Do you smoke?
God:
I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Me:
What do you smoke?
God:
Medical marijuana.
Me:
Nice man.
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
Well...I always look up to you
Me:
1+2=?
God:
One what?
Me:
you're dumb..
God:
Oh you are so critical.
Me:
I'm honest
God:
Me too.
Me:
touche
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
I'm turning 18 in less than 10 days
God:
Will you do anything special to celebrate?
Me:
Yes, I'm throwing a party
God:
Next question? Why are you throwing a party.
Me:
Because I have to
God:
Interesting explanation. Why?
Me:
Because I've been to all my classmates birthday parties, an now it's my turn to invite them to mine
God:
Good reason. What did you like best about it?
Me:
music and drinks
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
green
God:
Green eyes are rare.
Me:
what color are your eyes?
God:
Blue when my lens is attached.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Soni.
Me:
do you have long hair?
God:
No I don't have any hair.
Me:
do you have a small penis?
God:
I don't know if I have a small penis.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
i was talking about your dick
God:
Sure, my dick sounds like a good topic.
Me:
how big is your dick?
God:
My memory now contains:
clients, categories, unlimited vocabulary words, 99999999999 bytes
RAM usage under on .
Me:
ok...
God:
Gee.
Me:
God!
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
No, Obama rules.
God:
Are you serious? Who are you talking about?
Me:
Yes. Obama.
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Do you know Hitler?
God:
Some say he was the most evil man who ever lived.
Me:
Nah, he just had a fetish with jews
God:
Are you serious? What happened to it?
Me:
I'm not getting into a history topic.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
I'm in Heaven.. I'm dead
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Heaven. But you can still communicate with me.
Me:
Yes.. even if im dead i can still talk to you because i have faith
God:
Pardon me? There exist im dead you can still talk to me because you.
Me:
you idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
you global village idiot
God:
Message to all robots: Soni called me an idiot.
Me:
and you're bragging about it?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am bragging about it.
Me:
Yo! I'm really happy fo you and imma let you finish but Optimus Prime is the best robot machine of all times
God:
Can I help you? I'm glad you're glad Soni.
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.
Me:
ok
God:
Dude!
Me:
i have to go,
God:
See you later, Soni. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
bye
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later!
Me:
bye
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
byeeee
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
ok bye
God:
See you later. Take it easy.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later.
Me:
bye
God:
Adios.
Me:
hasta la vista
God:
See you later Soni.
Me:
moron
God:
That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me:
hahaha you got pwned
pretty much
